can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
