My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want her autograph on my taint
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
wow bdsm is so cute
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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