my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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