dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
