a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
FUCK WHALES
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