wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
