I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
