put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
