We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
