dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
