They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
