based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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