That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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