Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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