i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize