there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
