I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
