omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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