Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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