I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
