Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
