so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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