What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
