Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
