well I can't set my house on fire every night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
