drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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