he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize