There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My vagina is officially offended.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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