I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
