O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
