If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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