Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize