Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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