I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
