Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
