My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
