he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
