this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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