He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
