I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
