It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
