Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Randomize
