you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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