I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
