he shaved USA in his pubs
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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