I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
