Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
