he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I believe in your delicious
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
