I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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