just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize