no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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