Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So. Much. Porn.
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