ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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