I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
