do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
