I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize