i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
