fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
