He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
