At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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