Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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