I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
