You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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