But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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