i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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