u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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